11 Steps of Shopping with an 11 Month-old: A Survivor’s Tale

Here is what shopping with an 11 month old consists of. Next time, if there is a next time, I’ll have to get a video of it.

  1. I’m excited because he’s happy and has napped recently. I put him in the cart and he’s still happy! Woohoo!
  2. We walk through the doors of the store and get about 10 ft into the store. So far so good! I think, “Maybe i can actually casually browse.”
  3. A minute later he starts trying to stand in the cart. Doesn’t matter if he’s buckled. That’s just an obstacle he’s out to prove he can get around.
  4. As I’m trying to put him back in, an employee comes to ask if I found everything ok. Perfect timing to watch Man-child pull my shirt down and flash the world. That’s his way of communicating to pick him up.
  5. I quickly pull my shirt up while simultaneously picking him up and telling the employee I’m fine.
  6. As soon as I’m holding him, he starts arching his back trying to wriggle out of my arms. I do my best to walk with him, but I’m certain I look ridiculous trying to wrestle with him.
  7. I manage to spot something he can hold. I don’t even care how much it costs if it makes him happy. He pushes it away and continues flopping in my arms.
  8. I finally let him crawl. He wants to push the cart while he’s on his knees. I try steering it. After bumping into several thing and partially knocking down a display, we finally get to the aisle with the one item I need.
  9. He doesn’t want to stop and keeps pushing. But I need to make sure I’m getting the right thing. So I quickly look. When he crashes at the end of the aisle I help turn him to do a loop.
  10. After a couple loops, I finally have what I need. I hold him and let him push the cart to the front of the store. We buy the item and rush outside.
  11. I get him in his carseat and remember I forgot to buy something I needed or some other hiccup. Hiccups in the past have included realizing something was in my cart that I hadn’t paid for, remembered I needed to return something, we dropped the pacifier somewhere on the walk to the car and will have to drive home without it, on a windy day had things blown out of my cart in a busy parking lot where cars waited for me to pick it all up with a screaming child in my arms.

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Here is a picture of the aftermath of a shopping trip. We’ve had worse – so good job Michaels for keeping your floors somewhat clean. You should’ve seen his feet and hands the time HoneyBunches let him crawl around Home Depot!

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I still wonder why I do this to myself. But then today, we got home and he was super happy. He tends to be happier if we get out of the house.

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